What a beautiful weekend, right? The weather, the colors, the smells. Makes me want a cottage and a fireplace to retreat to, but regardless just running around the park filled with leaves and strolling through the market and getting my weekend coffee was just as enjoyable.

This was also the first weekend basically since the baby was born that Dave was home all days. Saturday AND Sunday AND Monday. I won’t lie, by last weekend, I was toeing the line of civility when I told a man to “mind his own (bleeped out) business” when he decided to give me (and the mothers of the world, since he started his sentence with “You Mothers…”) a lecture on pedestrian safety. He then told me we’d continue our lovely conversation in hell as he sped away in his giant Escalade. Admittedly, enraging!!!! But, I probably could have handled it better instead of inciting more bad behavior by rolling my eyes at him and being a little smart-mouthed — and in front of the children, no less! This just an hour after I had taken all of Ella’s clothes out of her chest of drawers and thrown them into a gigantic pile, threatening to throw them all out because I was tired of it taking two hours, yes, TWO HOURS, for her to get dressed in the morning.

I was at the end of my rope. And then two things happened, my sister volunteered to take care of Ella in the afternoon and Dave came home early and took the baby out for a couple of hours. I got almost three whole hours to myself on the couch and I just watched one episode of Louie after another.

And let’s discuss Louis CK. Are you familiar with his stand-up? I love it. I love how candid, dark and deep he gets, all the while making me laugh. His TV show is just a constant surprise, it isn’t just trying to make you laugh. For instance, in one episode, he’s on a packed subway and everyone is staring at a puddle on a chair, could be soda pop, could be something else, and Louie decides to take off his sweater and mop up the puddle. The best way I can describe that moment is a hoped humanity. That we should all be a little less anonymous in eachother’s lives. And a little less dishonest, too.

So this weekend, I listened to Tig Notaro do a stand-up gig just after she was diagnosed with breast cancer. It’s really kind of incredible – I haven’t been able to think of anything else all weekend. You can listen to an excerpt of it for free on This American Life or you can download it for $5 on Louis CK’s website. Dave initially objected to listening to it because, as he said, “How can everyone laugh at something that is so devastating and happening to her right now?” which I  get — it’s hard to listen to pain, but if someone is talking openly about it, I feel like I should listen. I promise that you won’t regret it, the moments she describes are so human, so devastating and yet so funny.

What floors me is how candid she is about her pain, her grief, her anger and how she addresses a public that is used to sweeping pain under the rug with polite, but dismissive, hopeful anecdotes. How hard it can be to just listen. I don’t want to say too much more, because I haven’t processed it completely, but I’d love to hear what you think about her show.