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All week I have been scoffing & shrugging at the media for the Big Deal they have been making about The Royal Wedding. Cue to this morning: I curiously tune in to watch the balcony kiss and find my throat suddenly tightening and my eyes already wet. WHAT IS THAT?

As you might know, D recently swept me off to Paris and proposed. Something I can hardly believe happened and will forever be enamored because now I know what kind of romantic gestures he’s truly capable of! I was expecting him to ask me at some point soon since we have been together for years and we did do everything kind of backwards, getting pregnant first, then buying a house, then set up our careers and now… marriage.

Here’s the problem though (and I know I am not the only one out there): I don’t know how to get married.

At our Anniversary Party at E&A, I had to interrupt a dear friend of mine to correct her when she stated that I had been dreaming about a wedding since I was four… Honestly, I’ve never imagined it. Like, ever. Even now I try and it’s like this big hazy blur in another haze of nothing. Holding a glass of white wine in my hand might be the clearest image I have so far….

All kidding aside, I think part of it can be attributed to the fact that I am a child of divorce and it was not a pretty one (which ones are?) This alone has given me 29 years of slow building cynicism that has become extremely obvious when confronted with planning a wedding. I have spent a good portion of my Friday evenings cackling while I watch such programs like Say Yes to the Dress on TLC. $15,000 on a dress? For 4 hours of wear? My practicality starts to wheeze under duress (and dress… har har har).

On the flip-side, I love a good party. And I love going to weddings. There is nothing more exciting than to take part in a ceremony where two people tell a whole bunch of people that they love each other. I love that. We’re a culture encased in irony & cynicism & self-deprecation — a few honest moments becomes incredibly touching and meaningful. Especially in an era where divorce IS so common, from a generation where divorce was seemingly more common than not.

I think that’s where the sentimentality and the sudden tears come from — that it IS a big deal to love each other. Through everything. A little pomp & circumstance & an awesome hat is worth it. Right?